In 2006, I started my work as a fresh translation graduate. Just then, my dad, whose business went bankrupt, was back. Meanwhile, I got into countless quarrels with my eldest cousin. I was so irritated to tell my mum to leave my eldest auntie’s house for my home whose rental my family had been living on. When my dad heard of the decision, he asked if he could come back to live with us. I agreed right away and my mum gave no rejection either. My sister stayed behind with my auntie and three of us lived together once again after more then ten years of separation. To God’s hard knock at my door, yet I turned a deaf ear.
Finally, we got together. Deviating from the normal storyline, we neither exchanged hugs, nor burst into tears but kicked off with a 2-year Cold War. Mum and Dad ignored each other but came only to me for whatever they wanted to say as if I were the “Siri” of their I-phones. I supposed that time could dilute their hatred but instead piled up their bitterness. I also supposed that I could do something to settle it, yet all in vain, only to find problems over my characters one after another. One of the most serious of the many is self-abasement and arrogance.
In July 2007, I was dismissed from the tutorial centre. In July 2008, I was not offered a contract renewal by the secondary school. In July 2009, even though I was invited to teach for another year, I quit my job the moment I completed my teacher’s training. I had no idea what I was doing. I just wanted to leave. In the past 3 years, I got insanely involved in making money. I worked as a day-school and night-school teacher on weekdays, a tutor at weekends, and a freelance translator at my spare time. With more than twenty thousand dollars and 4-year Japanese learning experience, I decided to enrol in a 3-month course on the language in Kansai College of Business and Language in Osaka in order to evade myself. But I was scared. I asked my sister, who was learning Japanese as well, to go with me and covered her expenses. The day before I set off, I told my parents my decision.
Three months later, I spent all my savings. Since back to Hong Kong, I got unemployed. In 2010, I swore that I would never teach anymore. I slept at home all day long and did nothing at all. Mum urged me to look for a job. I only made a little reaction. I looked for some administration work. I was either met with no response or questioned why I quit teaching. That summer, hearing of the openings for lecturers in HKBU, Dad urged me to make application. Once again, I made very little reaction. But to my shock, I got an offer.
God knocked again. He arranged me Brent, a foreign lecturer, as well as a Christian counsellor. I joined his Bible study class. I attempted to make use of the Bible for my purposes. I kept checking it for answers to my problems but it did not help. In HKBU, when my students smiled, I thought they laughed at me. When my colleagues observed my lesson, I thought they plotted against me. When my seniors made enquiries, I thought they picked on me. I was just out of control.
God knocked again. He meanwhile arranged regular meetings when I could have Brent patiently listen to me. Then, I calmed down a bit. One day, Brent asked me to join Nancy’s class where I served as her interpreter. In 2012, Nancy encouraged me to get baptised. She gave me a lot of explanations. I took none of them but simply made my baptism decision solely based on my belief in God. I told my parents about my baptism. Dad asserted that I was led astray to a religious cult while mum was worried about the tithe offerings. In the end, I announced my commitment to Christ with my sister as witness.
But the problems still disturbed me. I tried to divert my attention by working hard. God knocked again. In May 2015, Nancy announced her retirement. She invited me to take over her class. I was procrastinating for 6 months, being pulled back by fear but pushed forward by my earnest desire to change. Finally, I took her offer with not even a slim confidence in how to be a Sunday School leader. Yet in the same week, God blesses me with Maggie, who was still a seminary undergraduate at that time. Then, I started teaching His Word and learning to lead the class under her help. In these three years with her, I got so much closer to God than ever before I experienced unprecedented groundbreaking life changes. To and for God, I make confession, show repentance, give prayers, present intercession, read the Bible, teach His Word, build discipleship, translate testimonies, interpret sermons, write reflections, tell the gospel, plan activities, lead gatherings, harmonise melodies and arrange hymns. My heart changes. My thoughts change. My values change. My character changes. My attitude changes. My speeches change. My actions change. And my family changes.
In 2019, I always give such prayers, “God, thank you so much for your salvation, your guidance and your plan to bring me such amazing changes. If there is anywhere you want me to go for you, let me know and I set off right away.” Not long, He told me through Edith to learn how to tell the gospel. I prayed back, “God, I love you. I now dedicate to you my ears - to quickly listen to the people you love, and also my mouth - to slowly tell them your good news.”
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